Stuart Patrick Moreland
I highly doubt that anyone reading this site will know Stuart. Stuart and I were in the Boy Scouts of America together, from about 1992 (when I crossed over from Cub Scouts) to about 1996 (when Stuart received his Eagle Scout).
During that time, Stuart was as close to a ‘hero’, or an ‘idol’ as one person could be. I wanted to be everything that Stuart was, I wanted to do everything that he did. He was an amazing artist, so I tried studying art, so that I could have talents like his. He built his computer in 1993, when I hadn’t really ever seen a computer before. He was smart, he was funny, and by god, I wanted to be just like that.
But then, in 1999 (I think), Stuart got his girlfriend pregnant. Now, while I’m not one to say that people shouldn’t have children out of wedlock, it is ‘typically’ easier on everyone involved. He ended up having a beautiful baby boy, but unfortunately, I can’t remember his name off-hand.
I didn’t talk to Stuart much, since he moved in with his girlfriend, and got a job, and I had a girlfriend, and a job. A buddy of mine and I saw him on January 11, 2004. This date is fairly significant in our area because it was the day that a large portion of downtown Jeffersonville, Indiana burned (more pictures here).
We talked for a while, with the fire behind him. He said that we should meet up in a few weeks, get together, and catch up. Unfortunately, Stuart didn’t make it that far. Stuart decided his life was too difficult to handle any longer, and committed suicide on 26 Jan 2004.
As of that moment, Stuart stopped being my hero. I hated him. He had taken away something from people that meant a lot to them. He had left two children (he had another one, with the same girl, at some point along the way) behind. He left a loving mother, father, and sister. He left a great many friends. He had taken my hero from me. At the showing, we stood in line for almost 3 hours before we got to see him.
His mother and father were at the front of the room, by him, crying. All they got was reassurance that he loved them. When it was my turn, I held his mother for several long minutes, crying with her. I told her that I would be there for her, for anything she needed. She thanked me, and we moved on.
Afterwards, one of our scout leaders gave a speech. He showed some pictures of when a group of the scouts went to Canada, on a camping and canoeing trip. There I was, at the ripe age of 15, standing next to Stuart, arm around his shoulder, grinning from ear to ear. He’s standing next to me, arm around my shoulder, grinning from ear to ear as well.
Last year, his sister was married to a nice fellow. The area that they had their wedding ceremony was a nice hilly space, with some trees, and a large rock. This rock was very significant to them, as it was where Stuart would go to ‘get away’, when he needed to.
At the reception, his mother had set up a CD with a video slideshow playing. In one of them, was a picture of him and his sister, side by side. He looked so happy. It’s too bad he couldn’t be there to see the wedding.
I got married earlier this year. His mother, father, and sister were at the wedding. She told me how proud he would have been, and how much she wished he could have been there. I wish that, too.
So, Stuart. Here’s what this all boils down to: I forgive you. I forgive you for taking your life. I forgive you for being ‘too’ strong, in always listening, but never talking. I forgive you of your fear of this world, and whatever it was that caused you such grief. I forgive you, and I love you.
Stuart Patrick Moreland, 21 Oct 1977 – 26 Jan 2004. Rest in Peace
His smile will (happily) be the best memory I have of him.
